My friend Ashley had had about 7 shots too many one night and staggers into the pub for a little nap in a booth...some people are talking about dog training and when they say something about punishing bad behaviour she explains...

"I DON'T PEE ON MY DOG WHEN IT SCREAMS"

that's funny.

Saturday night a man began vomiting blood and had a heart attack at the pub...turns out he had had a heart attack two weeks ago, but thought slamming bourbon and pub grub would aid in his recovery.Good times.

Yesterday a man died on a bus here in memphis and the bus driver went two more stops before figuring that her fare had passed.

Sunday morning I wake up to find my boyfriend, VERY intoxicated with persian rug over his shoulder and little backpack on...turns out he closed the bars,the afterhours bars, then went to our old appartment to get stuff to decorate the new house...he couldn't make a sentence but was channelling christopher lowell...

Last week,I had a guy at my bar who was very paranoid...he tipped me in script drugs and when some of my regs got too close he said

"YOU JUST WANT MY PHONE NUMBERS"

ahh yes the bar business

Hey Killer,

so I heckled a guy having a stroke???I think I haveofficially usurped your 'evil' title...Do you ever go drink out East??? Man,there are some serious tools out there...and then there is me,satan.Some guy was pushing some other guy for no reason,just drunk looking for a fight...so then I decided to tell him what a macho prick he was...then he gets in my face and threatens me-and I threaten right back and myfriend drags me out of the bar before I got into a barfight with a man...I need to get laid before I end upon a tower with a sniper rifle.do you ever just feel that invincible?I'd like to talk to you but I feel like a stupid puppy...

-MG

snapshot of life 

Red bull and vodka anyone? 

HEY KILLER,

so tues at the buc...the cook fell down drunk and wet himself...everyone got nuts and it turned into high drama...they were calling for someone to do CPR,and I went to check out the situation and HE WAS STILL BREATHING!!!I was pretty lit and I made a snide remark...or 5...Not a good sign when you entrust yourbar to a bartender who panics when dealing withdrunks...so I spent the day at the new house, or as I call it "the country manor"...i see why women move into these houses...jacuzzi tubs...I came like three timestoday...jets,jets, and more jets which leads me to the next subject...I want to cook you dinner one of these nights when my cat isaway...wine and banter and what not...I called youtuesday night, but I was such a puddle...had you foundme it would have been necrophilia...i'm stalking you-until i get some stalk in me
MG

so I pelted a drunk d-list english drummer with limes (get it,limey, limes-I am so witty) while bartending tonight...I figure I should dedicate this post to that odd little pirate, since I gave him whiskey dick before sending him into that good night...also, I dedicate this one to him as to fill him in to where he was...Hey,Tidy, you were at the pub. you were with Blondie and Beaker, you scavenged food off of my customers' plates and were pelted with Limes...The sheep shagger that used to shag your blonde little lamb was there and you made out with her in front of him...I fed you enough southern comfort to kill all forms of naturally occuring life-which further supports my theory that you are a pasty creature from the planet Greathair...should I go on???Love you and you tidy little lies...-MG

lingering kisses...
Milan Kundera talks about laying in bed with your spouse, who you love, and your mind is with that someone who left a golden footprint on your mind, that person who challenges you in a way your partner doesn't, whose mouth is warmer, wetter, more welcoming...I am very much in love...but there is this fire...part of me feels that the conflict comes from an odd truth...that maybe I have feelings for this other person...that isn't just lust, that we are compatible somehow,that timing is everything...That I am suppressing a part of me...the little voice within says that ultimately I should just strike out on my own...but then I crawl up in my boyfriends nook and I feel such warmth and love for him I couldn't imagine life without himtomorrow may make that decision for me...I have an interview that may move me away. I don't know what I want.

Hey Killer....


ahhhh..I consider myself a sexy,strong willed woman, cut from a relatively moral cloth... (albeit,a shifting morality,often altered by my consumption of jaegermeister, but still there is a fiber that remains)...yet...I've been stuck or strung out on this idea that I somehow need to alter my behaviour or nature to fit some culturally accepted idea of healthy-which is sick really...what I am trying to say...

I just woke up to find my so-called boyfriend, knocking out some cocaine, drinking beer, and playing on the computer-which at some point usually turns into a visit to nakedcelebs.com.

two things are really annoying about this.

1. he chooses coke which makes him impotent over a sex life with me-when I told him that the ONLY reason I am leaving is to have a shot at a decent sex life.

2. we haven't had sex in over a month, cuz he says he isn't feeling sexual, but he is horny enough to look at porn...so that translates into me feeling like I am revolting...when he is 40 and 40 lbs over weight-but its my fault we aren't having sex...Riiiight...

I have shut myself off out of some sort of loyalty to him...like I keep thinking if I were married I wouldn't just leave-but be forced to work it out...but I am not married and that is good becuz I think i dodged the bullet with this one...

I am so gonna find you and take out my frustrations...eat some spinach.-MG

so I am officially lost. I have wandered for four years,found myself in memphis with a 40 year old boyfriend and a mort-gage and I am miserable...I am back in school, which I am ecstatic about...but for the rest...I am drowning...I think I am going to quit my job-that usually makes me feel better.

hey,

sorry its taken me so long but between,work,school, and eating cheese-time has been short as the days have been long... playing grown up???definitely.freaks me out.up until I started grad school I was out living the bartender lifestyle-partying in various ways most nights of the week...then I got tired and put on weight and started to look more like old elvis instead of hot young elvis-and to me that is a litmus test for life so I got it togther and though I am still undoing the damage, my life is officially boring.

I feel like that is what is supposed to be...that is adulthood...but I figure if I keep on buying houses with my boyfriend and sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, I will rebel and end up naked on a greek isle with a bag of blow and a spanish soccer team...good times.

Ms. Kitty lost 130 pounds? so has she returned to her birth weight?That is like what I weigh ( a bit more right now)...crazy... what happened? and her kid? I usually call Mr. Grumpy when I am HAMMERED...so we talk less and less these days. so oregon?Tennessee? cali? what is the deal? and your son? do you want to have more kids? you just got married? I am shunning marriage n kids for now...I have been with my man for 3 years and now we are doin the house and soon puppies...but baby steps toward being an adult... okay...I have to go talk to you soon-MG