Little Green Faeries

Like someone pissing in your stream of consciousness

Monday, May 29, 2006

oh and this guy is pretty damn funny...

e raf, tu hai baciato quest'uomo quindi...

so I love slutty pop culture websites...

check this one is pretty funny.

go into the archives and find a post about jessica simpson...they write her an 0ompa loompa song

Saturday, May 27, 2006

You blow a guy a few times in a few countries and...
He thinks you are in love with him or something.
I am mad. I think I will always be mad.
Anyone who reads my random rantings knows that I was hurt a few months back when an old friend felt that I hadn't gone to see him in Nashville because I couldn't handle the fact he was engaged and it wasn't me.Since I am not afraid of a little bit of travelling.
Now, I had feelings for him at one time 8 years ago...What he doesn't seem realize, is if I was so into him, I would be knocking on his door... right now. If I was in love with him I would not bow out peacefully. The authorities would be involved before all was said and done. I am passionate not docile and he, of all people, should know that.
Yes, passion made up apart of our friendship before-but every time we met There was rock and roll, tea, and travel...and tea is quite an aphrodesiac.
I guess I am not shocked that this is how things ended. I think he needs it to be my fault and I am a pretty easy target.Yet ultimately he doesn't need me anymore. He has someone to listen to him, pull him up and out of his brooding, someone to run to. But I still need him-which is unfortunate.

"Where have all my friends gone, they have all disappeared..."

So you got married. And I wasn't there.


Monday, May 08, 2006

This is Jorge Jefferson-aka "Vance"

Here he is engaging in one of his favorite pastimes-eating grass.

cute little guy.

Kinda looks like an Ice Cream Sandwich.

This is Enzo.

Enzo is making a strange face.

As if to say:


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Viagra and Dildos, part "Dos"
So, I have be researching more about this new dildo law...It has been upheld in Georgia,Mississippi, and Alabama.

These are the same same states that still have "dry" counties, where you can't buy alcohol. Come on folks, Vodka and Vibrators make for a good time...or a happening Saturday Night atleast.

If this is really about morality-what about Viagra? It's sole purpose is to help men feel good about their failed wankies, and allow them to chase their wives around and get off again...But that is male sexuality and men are making this law-they don't give a shit about if mama gets me.This is about fear of female sexuality and a man's own feeling of inadequacy. So welcome to Yemen,Mississippi, Georgia,Georgia...It is the same blip on the male brain that leads to oppression of women all over the world.

NewsFlash...the best lover I have ever had-and I have had some great ones(Gio)...doesn't come close to me-by myself, pleasing myself.It is selfish, it is my moment to enjoy me.You mens serve your purpose-some better than others-but just as you need to cum on Pam Andersons jugs til the pages bunch and stick together-us ladies need our threesome with Shakira and Tupac as well.
I think we should amend the law to disallow the moral majority to engage in sexual acts with "any three dimensional object that contains DNA and an IQ lower than Bush or 60-which ever is lower".

Hell, if those limp dicks on Washington stopped popping Viagra and leaving unsatisfied carnage in their wakes-vibrator sales would probably decrease in the DC-Fairfax region.

Until then ladies, GO FUCK YOURSELF-Proudly!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Tennessee is in the process of passing legislation that would make the purchase and possession of a "three dimensional device used mainly for the sexual stimulation of the genitalia" illegal. That's a dildo to those of you who may have missed it. Showing someone your dildo will be punishable by a mandatory sentence of one year.The fact that they were able to evade the word dildo or vibrator and use legalese just makes me chuckle.

Oddly enough, I can by a gun at Kmart.But I digress.

The only caveat to the "no dildo" law is if you are prescribed a dildo by your shrink. I am glad the South has finally made it to the 19th century where vibrators were used by doctors to treat hysteria.

Honestly, as a woman who travels and likes to sample the local delicacies when I do so (when in Rome, do the Romans-i always say)-Women in the South need dildos more than anywhere else I have ever been.Seriously. I have "taken" a random sampling of the population and Southern men are duds.I haven't had a Southern Fried Fuck that was worth the 45 seconds it entailed. In fact, if anyone wants to know why I hate the South-it is for that reason. There is an overabundance of terrible lovers here.And to add insulty to chastity-they are making vibrators contraband!!!

The problem with Southerners is this:by the time you convince them they aren't going to hell and work them through their mommy issues-no amount of lube can put back what has been taken away. The flip side of that, is those rugged types whose bedroom prowess could be likened to outtakes from "Deliverence". Nothing makes me more likely to pull out the pepper spray than a guy simultaneously "hog-calling" and trying for some anal play.

I read some of what is out there on this subject-and there is no real rationale. Banning sextoys isn't going to elevate morality-It's going to make people grumpy. And much more likely to buy cucumbers.

Maybe that is who is behind this. The Phallic Vegetable Lobby. Because people are going to find a way to get off...batteries not necessarily included