Last night I poured myself into red sundress,grabbed a friend, and headed out into the swirling, sweaty insanity of a Memphis summer night...

Have you ever had such incredible chemistry with someone that you could feel them enter a crowded bar, long before they slipped past you and whispered in your ear?

unfortunately I have... and to add insult to energy I met him long after I met my boyfriend...after some awkard drunken fumblings in clandestine locations,he gave me an ultimatum...either finish up what I had started, or close the door...and since love runs deeper than lust, I declined consumation and used the experience as fodder for my ever evolving fantasy life...three months had passed and he slipped to the back of my mind

until last night...I was standing at the jukebox when I felt him...he had come in through the back and was standing at the end of the bar smiling when I turned around...my girlfriend didn't understand who he was or what was happening she just knew that I became flush and stuttered a drink order...he came and sat next to us and she felt it. she knew something was up...Now I can go into every movement, every smile and double entendre...as they are permanently tattooed on my brainstem...but the point is, seeing this man shook up my world..
why does this person make me crazy? why does my boyfriend not get my juices flowing like he does? why why why??? why does he turn me into a school girl?and what do I do? do i engage in the sex and betray my relationship? do i let it go?

the scariest part for me is the idea that my relationship with my boyfriend is that fragile, that all realtionships are that fragile...that love,lust, passion may not coexist comfortably...I don't know...absinth awaits.