Hey,

okay okay I will leave you alone after this...but I have some parting words...

I am not going to tell you what I am going to do to you or make some last ditch lusty overature.so it is safe to read on.

My friend touched on something the other night. she said that if our "non-relationship" was just about sex or sexual attraction it would be less complicated.we would have sex or we wouldn't. Now maybe it is that easy for you-but not for me..

I have meant everything I have said or written or whatever...but maybe I over emphasized the sexual element because I didn't want to admit there might be more there...feelings or the seeds of feelings...

Its scary to even entertain that idea.

Mr. Gita is a good man and he is good to me and we have fun, we are great friends and I love him.
To think that that our relationship is fragile..that there is someone out there that could change that relationship if I let them...scares me.

now I am not sure if I am a just young and stupid. I am not sure if you have me snowed...you are a salesman after all...but there is something in you that makes me feel something no one else does, unfortunately you want to take that something and put it in me, but still.

when I try to do the math I fail...you listen to right wing radio and don't own a CD...I am about as left as you can be without throwing a bomb and own a gazillion trillion CDs...I am the crazy wandering jew bohemian backpacker who doesnt own furniture or a car and doesnt really have any roots, you are a southern boy, who feels his roots, who was proud not to understand coffee in manhattan...I love mushrooms and olives, you hate them. I haven't quite found my career path and you are a business owner. The only thing that adds up is that I bartend and you drink.

...nobody has given me butterflies since highschool... while at Kudzu's I looked forward to you walking in the door and throwing me a sly little smile...when you walked into the Buc the other night I felt a high just being in the same room...i want to feel that high everyday... but then I go home and have to shrug it off. after one of our clandestine fumblings I went home and passed out in a serious jaeger coma. Mr Gita came home and crawled into bed and took me in his arms, and I felt terrible.

you fluxate between classy and redneck, you are sexy,you have great lips, when you kiss me my toes curl,you are unique. you are the mistake I never had the chance to make...well, haven't yet had the chance to make.

until the next drunken dive

Mistress Gita