Little Green Faeries

Like someone pissing in your stream of consciousness

Monday, March 20, 2006

Hey Killer,

So, of course,after seeing you, I start to question my situation...I can't tell you exactly why I have stayed with Mr. Gita for this long, and I can't even tell you if it is for the right reasons...all I can tell you is that it is complicated.

I don't like to throw something away just because it is broken...I try to fix it the best I can.
Sure, I miss passion, I miss the excitement of something new-but it seems healthier to just be quiet and comfortable.

Maybe I don't want to admit I have made a mistake... if I left him I wouldn't have a reason to stay and I would want to head back to California-but I am in school and I can't. I am afraid that I would meet someone else and be stuck.

When my closest friend told me he was engaged I cried for three days.I mourned his loss like a break-up. I am jealous that he feels such an overwhelming love for someone that he is confident enough to marry.

I can't keep my focus long enough for that.

I don't know, Killer. What am I supposed to do? You want to be my sugar daddy?



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