So I think I am bitter. (un po' acida dicimm')

I was chatting online with this kid who has a band in Italy. I don't even know the guy and I was getting mad at him.

I have been ogling hot men and trying to motivate myself to feel something...and though smoking pot makes me horny-there aren't those feelings organically.

I left what was my home to couch surf and come up with a plan. and for the first time I have thought about just going back to Mr. Gita because I am tired and I am sick of the fight.

I have got some of the info I need to get a real teaching credential for Italy.

or continue on here in san francisco or memphis or wherever in some aggressive career.

I will be alone.

I can't even set up a vacation fling without making mistakes. because I can't just have a fling. I am too egotistical. I need to feel important, there needs to be more than lust-or I could just practice onanism.