Fuck Me...

well, momma has some serious decisions to make.

what to do,what to do.

so, for the last 5 years I have wrestled with the same two things

1.Committ to an agressive career in America

2.Get my TEFL credential,not certificate, but credential-and live in Italy.

It has been almost 5 years to the day, since I was told that I would not be working with the Union.Since then,I have struggled to become something else. I have made excuses, I have travelled. I have had deviant sex with a guy from Crotone. Now I am 28, scared, and needing answers.

the credential would allow me to teach in america-or abroad. it would allow me the freedom of being in Italy until I felt like returning to america-if I felt like returning. My time in europe would only bolster my Curriculum Vitae.

If I nail down a salting campaign or continue with my studies in criminal justice-I will have the career I want-but will have to give up Italy, or resign it to 2 weeks a year if I am lucky/

The last few years I go back and forth between here and Italy and I look for answers.

I have always been dragged back here by the people. but now the people I missed are gone to me anyway.

I am coming to terms with the fact that I might have had a bit of drug problem up until I came out here. Not to say that D and I didn't get high and watch zombie movies today-but in general-I am living better.

I want to find a child like old soul.

I want my raffaella close.

I want to do something for my country-no matter how small.

I need advice. I need to be organized.

I need sex.

help.