am I a fool? In the strictest sense, yes-we all are...but I am talking situationally here.

Spanky,you, in your efforts to be protective are leaning towards patronizing.I don't think Killer cares enough to take advantage of me. If I throw him some vagina-fine. If I all I do is get drunk and make an ass of myself-so be it. I have been aquainted with him for a year now-and nothing has happened...we have drank until we couldn't see,shouted politics, made some people uncomfortable,made each other uncomfortable, parked his car and stared at the sky-and nothing. One night before I left for Italy we were silly drunk in a parking lot across from work...I asked him to kiss me and moved in closer...he shook me off and went to his car.

I am the one with the problem.

If I don't contact him,he doesn't contact me.

I just enjoy him somehow. Probably the same way someone enjoys another person defecating on their chest-It is messy, it stinks, but there is a pleasure you can get from nowhere else.

maybe if I were single I wouldn't care for him. Maybe if my boyfriend pleased me more often I wouldn't care either...but something about feeling that heat, accidently finding someone aroused under their slacks,imagining them inside you, their skin in your mouth...the fanstasy of not knowing.

I crave passion.

Passion for me is a heroin sundae with a crack covered cherry.

cherry...huh.